{"id":245,"date":"2023-12-18T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-18T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/i-know-where-all-the-girlbosses-went\/"},"modified":"2025-09-03T18:53:49","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T18:53:49","slug":"i-know-where-all-the-girlbosses-went","status":"publish","type":"essays","link":"https:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/essays\/i-know-where-all-the-girlbosses-went\/","title":{"rendered":"I Know Where All the Girlbosses Went"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A few months ago, Marisa Meltzer asked<\/span><\/a> in Vanity Fair: Where have all the Girlbosses gone? <\/em>She was referring to the cadre of up-and-coming, highly public female founders of the 2010s, many of whom maintained a certain cult of personality in popular media. Beginning in the 2020s, they\u2014one by one\u2014fell from grace.<\/p>\n

I know where they\u2019ve gone. But before I tell you, I must admit something I\u2019ve been holding in for too long about their male equivalent, the thinkboi<\/em><\/span><\/a>: a community of grown men online who seem to dominate the conversation through a referral network of hype.<\/p>\n

These men\u2014typically ex-financiers-turned-content-creators or founders\u2014refer to one another on a first (or last) name basis: \u201cHormozi<\/span><\/a>,\u201d \u201cSahil<\/span><\/a>,\u201d \u201cHuberman<\/span><\/a>,\u201d \u201cNaval<\/a>.\u201d They quote one another in their own work frequently, support one another openly, admire one another publicly\u2014with a near-religious devotion. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\n \u201c<\/span>The thinkbois seem to recognize that, in boosting one another\u2019s work, they align themselves with power.\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n
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When two thinkbois face off (like when Nassim Taleb attacked<\/span><\/a> Lex Fridman, unprovoked, violating the cardinal rule of always accepting podcast invites), it was an affront to the solid, united core. The aggressor, Taleb, was mostly shouted down for his slight, and armies of Fridman fans flocked to his defense. <\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t my way of saying I think the thinkboi support network is a bad thing\u2014on the contrary, I wish<\/em> there were more women benefiting from the same<\/strong>. The thinkboi network is, after all, heavy on the \u201cboi.\u201d They outwardly and effusively weave a web of mentions, backlinks, and namedrops, nary a lady in sight. <\/p>\n

To be fair, I don\u2019t think anyone is intentionally excluding women\u2014but because online idea market share operates on a power law<\/span><\/a> where 90% of the attention concentrates around 10% of the voices, it\u2019s a self-sustaining centrifuge that has the effect of pushing everyone else to the periphery. <\/p>\n

The warm and fuzzy feelings of inclusivity and connectedness between the thinkbois are great, but it\u2019s not just about feeling good: These support networks are valuable<\/em>. They lead to real opportunities. These men are one or two degrees of separation away from some of the most prolific builders and wealthiest venture capitalists in the world. The thinkbois seem to recognize that, in boosting one another\u2019s work, they align themselves with power. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\n \u201c<\/span>The difference in dynamics between the ThinkBoi Aristocracy and the \u2018Girlboss Gotcha\u2019 expos\u00e9 culture is stark.\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n
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Where did all the girlbosses go? Well, look no further than the litany of Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Downfall thinkpieces for breadcrumbs. <\/p>\n

Dan Frommer wrote<\/span><\/a> for the New Consumer that \u201cfemale founders get publicly flogged for managerial flaws that range, depending on the situation, from petty nonsense to securities fraud. These stories perform well for their publications, are seen as \u2018telling truth to power,\u2019 and occasionally serve the broader public\u2014see: Theranos\u2014so they\u2019ll continue to be published.\u201d<\/p>\n

The difference in dynamics between the ThinkBoi Aristocracy and the \u201cGirlboss Gotcha\u201d expos\u00e9 culture is stark. The former is\u2014while occasionally reductive and unintentionally satirical\u2014ultimately a generative source, while the latter feels eager to catch someone sending an insensitive email.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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There\u2019s a schadenfreude that accompanies the news that a beloved female founder was actually<\/em> a hard-charging tyrant from a privileged background with unrealistic expectations. Hardly any founder has been more publicly scrutinized than Sophia Amoruso<\/span><\/a>, an entrepreneur who bootstrapped her first business to $100 million in just a few years and then went on to build two more<\/em> successful operations. <\/p>\n

To be sure, some of the allegations against these women were serious\u2014but there\u2019s a funhouse mirror effect to much of the coverage, where the substantive criticism blurs with thinly veiled misogyny. Once open season began on the girlbosses for their legitimately harmful missteps, the mediagenic female founder became a meme. To be worthy of power, we seemed to collectively decide, a woman must be perfect.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t come into focus for me until I read Meltzer\u2019s book, Glossy<\/em><\/span><\/a>, which told the story of \u201cambition, beauty, and the inside story of [another prominent female founder] Emily Weiss\u2019s Glossier.\u201d There was something that didn\u2019t quite sit right with me\u2014it was framed like a tell-all, but didn\u2019t seem to reveal much in the way of genuinely problematic behavior from Weiss. <\/p>\n

Ashley Mayer, former head of communications at Glossier, wrote a reaction piece<\/span><\/a> that went viral after Glossy<\/em> dropped. \u201cWhile [the book] isn\u2019t another female founder \u2018takedown,\u2019 it also isn\u2019t a book that would be written about a male CEO. The dominant critiques of Emily focus on her privilege and ambition, two traits I can\u2019t imagine being used to undermine the successes of her male peers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course, exploitation, harassment, and discrimination should be rooted out regardless of the perpetrator\u2014the criticism is not, \u201cWell, women should be allowed to treat people like shit, too.\u201d But as Mayer wrote, \u201cWhen even the most successful women leaders are picked apart, there\u2019s a widespread silencing effect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some suggest this is a good thing. Elizabeth Segran, witnessing the pile-ons the first generation of girlbosses suffered, advised us in Fast Company<\/em> to keep going, but just do it\u2026more quietly<\/span><\/a>. As in, Be a little more ladylike about it.<\/em> <\/p>\n

But in a world where only 10% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women (despite making up 47% of the workforce) and only 2% of venture capital funding goes to female founders, our ambitions will only be as strong as the interconnected support system we can build around them. <\/p>\n

We need to be careful about deducing that the solution is to fly under the radar. Doing so keeps us isolated; separated.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Instead, we must loudly, proudly, and publicly align ourselves with one another. For all their internet philosophizing, I think that\u2019s the most important lesson we can learn from the thinkbois.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cYour network is your net worth.\u201d<\/h2>\n

In that vein, I want to shout out some amazing women in my network, and some who I haven\u2019t met yet but whose work blows me away:<\/p>\n